Island-Spaceship-Mall Planet

I recently entered a colossal glass roofed shopping mall spreading over acres of land. The structure seemed like something in between an island and spaceship or a mall planet closely orbiting earth. I generally avoid these environments as my spacesuit isn’t equipped to endure the atmosphere.  The gasses generated from such places suit the aliens who look like me but require another type of atmosphere to exist. Prolonged exposure to the mall planet’s atmosphere causes both people and aliens to succumb to impulse buying behaviors.

While walking on the surface of mall planet the sensors on my spacesuit detected fumes gassing from $800 dollar leather purses.  I notice many aliens carry credit cards and other charging devices in these show bags to continue generating high pressured debt.  But carefully designed exoskeletons allow these aliens to carry the debt burden while maintaining an expressionless look. Their deadpan faces are similar to the photographs displayed in the mall of fashion models wearing designer clothes while carrying highly coveted and priced handbags. But who noticed these trophy bags since most aliens walk with heads titled down to gaze at communication devices? Some aliens carry the trophy purses to the mall planet while wearing pajamas just to sit and drink caffeine.

Magical Purses

Magical Purses

As I venture deep into this unfamiliar planet I realize it is filled with millions of pieces of designer space debris. The openings on each side of the tarmac grant access to vast showy warehouses where pulsing music, shimmering homing devices and blinking beacons guide aliens to boots, polished metal trinkets, gilded suits and more.  It’s all available and acquisition requires only a credit card.  I’m relieved as warehouse workers evaluate my spacesuit and decide I am not one of the aliens.  These semi-robots sharply reduce their pre-purchase dialog with me (which gets modified depending on what exoskeleton an alien wears).

Gilded Suits

Gilded Suits

The island-spaceship-mall planet defies common sense. I see palm trees nearly hovering in space inside glowing blue glass boxes.  White flags hang above these full-sized artificial trees and serve as antennas guiding shoppers to the correct designer space debris depots.  Some consider these flags as displays of public art. The flags are without color or content and fill the void above the fake palm trees. The trees and the flag mean absolutely nothing.  Perhaps this is to remind us we are nothing until we buy something? Buy something, put the exoskeleton on, and fit in. To be an alien means we’ll learn to bear crushing debt and even feel normal racing around frantically in automobiles costing as much as some homes after departing from the mall planet.

Hovering Fake Palm Trees

Hovering Fake Palm Trees

I did see a pair of $215 dollar shoes I liked. I’m not sure, but my spacesuit may have temporarily malfunctioned allowing me to detect leather scent which weakened my logic. Or, the flag-antenna system successfully signaled “BUY ME” data into my brain. Fortunately a defense system in my brain will override it and guide me to a thrift store. I will eventually find those shoes in a thrift store where out of fashion space debris gets reacquisitioned by people living down on earth.

As Black Friday approaches (and all variations and renditions released by the alien mother ship), I wish all fellow humans  good luck and good shopping. Let’s buy stuff to cram into our closets and rented storage units! Buy even more stuff to leave in our automobile trunks until we remember to carry it into our cluttered lives. Or…RAISE YOUR SPACE DEBRIS SHIELDS! But…eventually we will succumb to the aliens vast marketing power.

…..High on my gift wish list this year….. the before you “go” toilet spray gift-set that cloaks my stink before I let it go. And all imaginary readers who made it to this point wish I used that toilet spray before I posted this c#%p. Too late.

Now get out and buy something you didn’t need! And if all else fails remember…Things Sell Better With Jesus (Yes you can buy this sticker/note-card…See! The aliens on the Mall Planet got me to make a sales pitch before Black Friday).

Things Sell Better With Jesus

Things Sell Better With Jesus

 

So….Peace, love and happiness to those who celebrate for many reasons between mid-November and January 1st.

Thinking About Cats and Dogs

I’ve written poetry for several decades. Sometimes I look a few years back to see what I wrote close to the current calendar date.  Here’s one from February 2015.  (Just a year old but some go back more than 30 years).

 

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Thinking About Cats and Dogs

We’re subject to nearly non-stop distractions
so we don’t have to think for ourselves.

When the Internet feeds us a viral moment
we engage in something seeming bigger than any one of us.

Look at all of us sharing comments! This makes us feel good.
“Big Brother” likes this effect on the masses.

Comments on the viral moment pass through the algorithm machine
until another distraction is formulated.

Soon the next Internet viral moment is released
and our thoughts almost seem out-of-place.

If we look away from what we’re coaxed to focus on
we may not want what’s being promoted.

But if our wants decline we might spend less
and this makes our Big Brother, unhappy.

So the Biggest Brother generates an Internet viral moment
turning free thinkers into those who are disengaged.

This viral moment convinces many to assume
those who think and ask questions are paranoid.

Since no one wants to be paranoid, more share comments
on viral Internet moments about cats and dogs.

Now more of us are feeling good
because we’re all in this together!

I don’t like most cats but had two dogs.
Both dogs were named Stella.

Gregory Zeorlin 2/27/2015 8:30am